Cartoon Conspiracy Theories, Rated – Part 1
Scooby-Doo, the Eds, the Flintstones, Charlie Brown and Dexter, put on trial.
Cartoon logic makes no sense. Gravity is optional, nobody ages, and a talking dog solves more crimes than most police departments. When things make that little sense, fans start building theories to explain them.
I make cartoons for a living, and people have built conspiracy theories about my shows too. Mostly about why my characters' arms bend like that. (Budget. The answer is budget.)
So today we're putting five famous fan theories on trial. Every claim gets a stamp:
REAL: it happened, and you can look it up.
RUMOR: fans say it, but the evidence is thin.
ANARCHY: I made it up because it's funny.
Grab your magnifying glass.
1. Scooby-Doo takes place after an economic collapse
The theory: Every episode, the gang visits an abandoned amusement park, a closed factory or an empty mansion. Some guy in a mask is trying to scare people away. Why is everything abandoned? Because the economy collapsed, and the "monsters" are broke former owners trying to hang on to property the bank took back.
RUMOR. It's a fan theory, and a clever one, but the show never says it.
REAL: a lot of the villains really are business owners. The classic unmasking usually reveals a real-estate schemer, a smuggler or a guy trying to scare buyers off land he wants cheap. Money is the motive in a lot of mysteries.
ANARCHY: Velma's detective skills are survival training for a world where nobody can afford a flashlight.
Plausibility: 7 out of 10. My childhood: ruined.
2. Ed, Edd n Eddy takes place in limbo
The theory: The kids never leave the cul-de-sac. You almost never see parents. It's always summer. So maybe the Eds aren't in a neighborhood at all. Maybe they're stuck somewhere between worlds, and jawbreakers are the only currency that matters there.
RUMOR, and the show itself debunks it. REAL: in the 2009 finale movie, Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show, the Eds leave the cul-de-sac and go out into the wider world. The neighborhood was just a neighborhood. A very weird one.
ANARCHY: The Kanker sisters are not supernatural. They are just the scariest thing a 10-year-old can imagine: someone who wants to hold your hand.
Plausibility: 3 out of 10. Still kept me up at night.
3. The Flintstones and The Jetsons live at the same time
The theory: The Jetsons live in sky cities with flying cars and robot maids. The Flintstones live on the ground with rocks. What if they're not past and future? What if they're the same moment, with the rich living in the clouds and everyone else left down below?
RUMOR. It's fun, but both shows clearly treat themselves as past and future.
REAL, and this is the best part: the two families actually met. In the 1987 TV movie The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones, a time machine sends the Jetsons back to Bedrock. Hanna-Barbera made the crossover canon. They just used time travel instead of class warfare.
ANARCHY: The Great Gazoo was a sky-city hall monitor sent down to check on everybody's homework.
Plausibility: 6 out of 10.
4. Charlie Brown is bald because he was sick
The theory: Charlie Brown has almost no hair. He's sad a lot. Good things never quite happen to him. Some fans think he's a kid who went through cancer treatment, and Peanuts is quietly about a child who's been through more than anyone knows.
RUMOR. Charles Schulz never said that. As far as anyone can tell, Charlie Brown just has very short, very light hair. Schulz drew it as that little squiggle on his forehead.
I'll be honest about why this one stays with me. Both of my parents had cancer, and I lost one of them to it. I deal with hard things the way a lot of animators do: by drawing, joking, and making questionable animation choices. So I get why people read sadness into Charlie Brown. He's the kid who keeps trying anyway. Maybe that's the real theory. Charlie Brown is about not quitting.
Plausibility: 2 out of 10. Emotional damage: off the charts.
5. Dexter's Laboratory is a government experiment
The theory: A kid has a giant secret lab under his house, and his parents never notice? Come on. Maybe the lab isn't Dexter's at all. Maybe Dexter is the test subject who figured out the test. And Dee Dee is the control variable, sent in every day to see if he can handle distractions.
ANARCHY. There is zero evidence for this, which is exactly why I love it.
REAL: creator Genndy Tartakovsky started Dexter's Laboratory as a student film at CalArts. The show really did come from a lab: an animation school.
Plausibility: 9 out of 10. Am I scared now? Yes.
What these theories teach us
Fan theories happen when a story leaves gaps. Writers leave out the boring stuff, like where Dexter's parents think the electricity bill is going. Fans fill the gaps with meaning. That's not a bug. It means the characters feel real enough to wonder about.
Your turn
Which theory do you believe? Which one did I rate wrong? Tell me in the comments. Next time, in Part 2, the theories get even stranger.
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