Cartoon Conspiracy Theories, Rated – Part 4

Ninja Turtles, Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, the '90s X-Men and Space Ghost.

Three parts in, and reality is getting wobbly. These next five are so out there I might need to move to a bunker. A cozy one. With snacks.

• REAL: it happened, and you can look it up.

• RUMOR: fans say it, but the evidence is thin.

• ANARCHY: I made it up because it's funny.

1. The Ninja Turtles were designed to be the next step in evolution

The theory: Four turtles fall into glowing goo and come out talking, walking upright, and doing martial arts. That's not an accident. That's somebody's master plan for "what comes after humans," and Splinter ruined it by raising them to be good.

ANARCHY. But I love Splinter as the dad who accidentally saved the world by teaching manners.

REAL: the Turtles started as a joke. Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird created them in 1984 as a self-published, black-and-white comic that parodied the serious superhero comics of the time. A parody became one of the biggest kids' franchises ever.

Plausibility: 6 out of 10. Pizza consumption: 10 out of 10.

2. Bugs Bunny is a trickster from ancient legend

The theory: Bugs bends reality. He wins every time. He dresses up, talks his way out of trouble, and makes the hunter look silly. Fans say Bugs isn't just a rabbit. He's the latest version of a character humans have told stories about for thousands of years.

REAL, and this is the smart one. Bugs is a "trickster," one of the oldest character types in storytelling. Br'er Rabbit, Anansi the spider, Coyote in Native American stories, Loki in Norse myths: all clever underdogs who win with brains instead of muscle. Bugs is that tradition in a Brooklyn accent. He first appeared in his classic form in A Wild Hare (1940).

Plausibility: 10 out of 10. Bugs would want me to tell you he knew all along.

3. Wile E. Coyote is stuck in an endless trial

The theory: He chases the Road Runner, fails, falls off a cliff, and comes back. Every time. Maybe the Road Runner isn't a bird. Maybe he's the test, and Wile E. can't stop until he learns his lesson.

RUMOR, but there's a real rulebook. REAL: director Chuck Jones later described the rules he and his team followed for these cartoons. The Road Runner never hurts the Coyote directly. The Coyote's own gadgets always fail him. And he always pauses in the air before he falls. The "trial" is a comedy formula.

ANARCHY: The lesson is "stop ordering from ACME." He never learns it.

Plausibility: 8 out of 10. How bad I feel for him: very.

4. The '90s X-Men cartoon was too ahead of its time

The theory: X-Men: The Animated Series told big, serious stories about people being treated as outsiders for who they are. Then it ended. Then, decades later, it came back. Maybe it was always meant to return.

REAL: the show ran from 1992 to 1997, and it really did tell serialized, grown-up stories in a Saturday-morning slot. In 2024, Marvel continued it with X-Men '97, picking up right where it left off with much of the original voice cast.

ANARCHY: The cartoon didn't end. It was just recharging.

Plausibility: 8 out of 10.

5. Space Ghost was trapped in his own talk show

The theory: In Space Ghost Coast to Coast, a superhero hosts a talk show, the guests look confused, and the whole thing feels like it's falling apart. Maybe it wasn't a show at all. Maybe it was a prison with a desk.

REAL: the show really was strange on purpose. The team reused old 1960s Hanna-Barbera animation of Space Ghost and paired it with real celebrity interviews. The guests often didn't know what they were walking into, which is why they look so confused.

Plausibility: 9 out of 10. Space Ghost's level of comfort: 0.

What these theories teach us

Today we found a parody that became an empire, a 3,000-year-old character type in a rabbit suit, and a cartoon rulebook. The deeper you dig into animation, the less you need conspiracy theories. The true stories are better.

Your turn

Tell me which theory you'd actually defend in court. Part 5, the final chapter, is next.

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